Obama’s Pre-Emptive Pet Strike: President’s Choice of Pet

Surfing over to a vital source of White House information on Inauguration Day, you may be shocked at what you see. Barney and Miss Beazley's website has been removed and replaced with this ominous message: "The Obama Administration has created a brand new White House website, and it's possible that the page you were looking for has been moved." Before the scent markings have even been removedfrom those gleaming white columns, their furry little faces have been erased from White House history. Those poor Bush family pooches, banished to a ranch in Texas without so much as a chance to say "goodbye". Obviously, a pre-emptive strike coordinated by Obama's unfairly adorable children. "Daddy, take that page down now! We want our -own- pet and it needs it's own webpage. And it must simply have a myspace too!" Obama won't be the first President subjected to the whims of the first-children. JFK, a president that stared down nuclear annihilation, was equally beholden to his adorable kids. The White House was awash with furry friends: dogs, cats, hamsters, parakeets and not one but three ponies. However, other presidents have maintained pets that were undoubtedly not to entertain the kids. John Quincy Adams had an Alligator, which he accepted, most likely begrudgingly, from the Marquis de Lafayette. (It's true purpose as a nice pot of Gumbo was obviously lost in translation.) Rutherford B. Hayes kept Jersey cows among many other mammals and birds (it is said the groundskeepers still curse his name). But this has no comparison to the herd of elephants that were part of James Buchanan's term, though he was fond of vetoing Republican bills. Most impressive was Calvin Coolidge's collection which rivaled that of the San Diego Zoo. Twenty five animals in all, it's a not wonder that his only term preceded the Great Depression. The budget of the entire nation must have been pork-barreled into the pet food industry. Hopefully, Obama will spare us a White House pony ride fund raiser. A Recent interview on ABC News has it that the first family is considering a Labradoodle or Portugeese Water Dog. However the surgical strike launched at poor Barney and Miss Beazley may portend of greater plans. With the swift, decisive action, a veritable pet frenzy of pet "shock and awe" could be in the works.