When you think of a growth chart, you think of a bunch of pencil marks on a doorway to track how big a child is getting. You could also do it with a dog, but the dog doesn’t really care that much. But what if the dog makes its own little growth chart?
All it has to do is go to town on the doorway with its growing jaws, and there you have it. Hard to say why a dog would choose this doorway in particular to gnaw on – but now that we’ve said that, it’s a lot more likely that the dog chews on all the doorways in the entire house, and this is just the one that is the most consistent.
How Could You Hate That Face
Yes, this dog has made a big mess, but we’d also like to point out that this dog probably had no idea what it was attacking. Look at those eyes – it has no idea where it is. It was just attacking the thing that was in front of it. Maybe it thought there were two of them, whatever it was.
And despite this dog not having the visual acuity of a lot of other dogs, it seems to still have the ferocity required to take good care of the foe that was in front of it. Or at least the foe that was somewhere in the area. We can’t really go on record saying that it was in front of the dog when the attack started.
The Proof is in the Paper
Did you know that some Labrador retrievers are just...always hungry? You might have noticed that the breed tends to beg for treats and needs more food than the rest, and it’s gaining weight a lot faster, too. That’s because a gene labs have keep sending hunger signals to their dumb little doggy brains.
They always feel like they’re hungry, so they always want to keep eating which makes them fat, obviously. They get into the garbage, eat the cat’s food, and even start to shred a sign that is designed to shame them. There are even some humans that like to eat paper, but the one person we knew who did so went to jail. Not because of the paper, but we honestly wouldn’t have minded.
Get the Dog Listerine Out Again
Oh, good, we get to imagine this happening. Look, we don’t know why dogs like to chow down on so much gross stuff. They are, no matter how much we like to train them and give them cute names and call them our children (they are not our children. They are dogs. If they aren’t human, they aren’t your children) still animals.
They will do animalistic stuff, like eating things they aren’t supposed to. Rabbit poop is a rare one, but it’s going to happen, we guess. And this dog doesn’t seem ashamed or guilty about it at all. That’s something to work on. Rabbit poop has got to be on the complete list of things a dog shouldn’t eat, no matter how good they think it tastes.
He Needs So Much Sleep
This dog must break wind a whole lot. Look at that poor face. The dog looks like it hasn’t had a good night’s rest in years. Those poor eyes. If you look close enough at a tired person’s eyes, you can see that they’re bloodshot and bleary, and this dog has those exact same things. The sign explains everything.
We can’t say that has ever happened to us, but if you’re a guard dog, you can imagine that any little noise is going to get you to raise your head. Even, or especially, if it comes from your own backside. Is there Bean-O that you can give dogs? If there is, please get some for this poor pup. We just want him to get some much-needed rest.