There are doughnuts, and then there is “The Doughnut,” something that you can only pick up if you happen to be at Stoke in North Carolina. Just what is “The Doughnut,” that mythical dessert of legend? It’s a big, huge doughnut, as in it literally weighs an entire pound. A pound of something isn’t a whole lot, but have you ever eaten a doughnut that is an entire pound?
We bet you haven’t. You’d remember the entire process from start to finish. Not only will you get a doughnut you could use for a workout, but it will come topped with thick pastry cream, bits of crumbled-up Heath bar, and plenty of powdered sugar. It’s basically a meal. We wonder why they picked Heath bar in particular.
Kentucky’s Worst – Maple-Bacon Doughnut
Bacon makes everything better. Or does it? The consensus on these doughnuts is...sometimes. A maple-bacon doughnut sounds pretty good when your brain gets the idea. Doughnuts are good, and so is bacon, and maple isn’t too bad, but how will they taste when they’re all thrown together? Doughnuts are made with a lot of sugar, so they’re a sweet option, while maple and bacon are both savory.
Do they simply overpower the sweet? There are plenty of savory doughnut options out there, but they aren’t for everybody. Plus, adding a crunchy piece of bacon to a soft doughnut can create a texture mishmash. If it were up to us, we’d just pick the bacon off of it and eat it separately, then go in on the doughnut. Call us Philistines if you want.
New York’s Worst – Golden Opulence Sundae
We’re sure this dessert tastes fine, but we aren’t ever going to find out. Want to know why? Because this cool treat costs a cool one thousand dollars (at least) to become part of your meal. You can only get it at the restaurant Serendipity 3 in New York City. It comes in a crystal glass and has Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream, chocolate that is imported from Paris, and passion fruit caviar.
There are twenty-four-karat gold flakes on the top, which are edible. It’s quite the fancy way to end a meal. And hey, you get to keep the glass, too, so you can prove to your friends that you ate a sundae that cost a thousand dollars. We hope it tastes good because if it doesn’t it’s gonna feel like a let-down.
Texas’s Worst – Three-Pound Cinnamon Roll
There’s nothing inherently wrong with a cinnamon roll that is this big, but you have to admit there are some logistical issues when it comes to this big dessert/breakfast food. A three-pound cinnamon roll Would not only take a certain amount of time to consume, but it would also mean that you’ll have to deal with a whole lot of icing.
The reason this is in the bad category isn’t that we think it would taste bad – we think it would taste great. However, it would also probably give you nightmares. At the very least you would have to deal with something known in the biz as “cinnamon roll sweats.” If you want this massive treat, you’ll have to go to Lulu’s Bakery in San Antonio. It’s open all day in case you want one at three in the morning.
Alabama’s Worst – Cotton Candy Milkshake
If you take a look at this ridiculous creation, you might think you’ve died and gone to Heaven. Or Hell, if you’re the kind of person that can’t stomach too much sweet stuff. Pick up a cotton candy milkshake from K&J’s Elegant Pastries in Alabaster, Alabama, and you’re going to get a whole lot of sugar.
Not only is it a milkshake, but you’ll get an entire cupcake, a fresh cloud of cotton candy, a generous amount of whipped cream, a dash of all kinds of sprinkles from every direction, and even a lollipop. You’re going to get a sugar rush that lasts for days or even weeks if you manage to consume this entire thing in one sitting. After just a few bites, we wonder if you’ll even be able to taste anything.