When you think of food that Maine has bestowed upon us, you most likely think of lobster. But people, we aren’t about to get into all that’s wrong with lobsters. We are instead going to share with you the gross byproduct of cooking lobster. Meet the tomalley, the lobster’s internal organs. Technically speaking, it’s the lobster’s liver and pancreas. When it’s part of a soup dish, it adds a decent flavor. But on its own, it’s inhumane to consider it as edible.
In Maine, locals think it’s a good idea to put this on a plate and call it a dish. What’s even grosser is that the report from the Maine Department of Marine Resources in July 2008 indicated the presence of high levels of paralytic shellfish poisoning toxin in some tomalley from lobsters in that state. There’s a good reason you aren’t seeing this as a lobster roll topping.
Kentucky -- Lamb Fries
This next one is surely not for the faint-hearted. These would perhaps pass as acceptable if they were actual fries. But, news alert — they aren't fries! They are testicles. There are parts of animals that should just not be ingested by humans.
If you're wondering how it's made, they are parboiled, sliced in half, and submerged into boiling hot oil. Absolutely awful. It gets better, though (or worse). They are often served in gravy and are a traditional dish in the Bluegrass region of Kentucky.
Louisiana -- Nutria
It's no surprise to anybody when New Orleans chefs take a bucket of mud, three sticks, and most unfortunate canned okra, and magically turn it into something delicious. If you think that frog legs and guinea pig are questionable, how about eating this animal you see pictured above? That's just a big no-no on so many levels.
Let's start with the first and foremost, the fact that this thing is a giant, yellow-toothed semi-aquatic river rat that looks strikingly similar to a rejected Disney henchman. It seems like Louisiana chefs aren't able to turn a river rat into edible food, no matter how much they try to hide it with cayenne. For sure, no amount of spice and sriracha can get those images out of my head.
Maryland -- Stuffed Ham
While Maryland may have given us crab dip, they also gave us stuffed ham. Stuffed ham is thought to have originated in Southern Maryland, and it is still popular in this area today. If you're wondering what stuffed ham is, don't worry, you aren't alone. Luckily, it's a very simple concept. For some reason, Americans are proud of their tradition of stuffing food into other foods.
It's boiled ham stuffed aggressively with cabbage and greens like kale. Then, it's wrapped in cheesecloth and broiled. Somehow, people in Maryland love this stuff without even questioning what it is they are eating. In all honesty, Southern MD is totally at fault here, which any Marylander will tell you is Here There Be Dragons territory anyway.
Massachusetts -- Boston Baked Beans
Baked beans are all that's wrong with America. They taste like sad mushy sacks of desperation. Massachusetts takes so much pride in its Boston Baked Beans which is equally sad. Then again, they also take pride in the Patriots all the while thinking that they're less narcissistic than New York Yankees fans.
Well, Massachusetts, I hate to break it to you but these beans belong in the compost bin rather than in your stomach. Decades ago, the beans were traditionally cooked on Saturdays and left in the brick ovens overnight to enjoy on Sunday. Fortunately now, we have other things to enjoy on a Sunday afternoon, like avocado toast.