Artificial sweeteners like Aspartame promise the taste of sugar without any of the nasty side effects. It sounds like a dream come true, right? Here’s the shocking truth: sugar is actually better for you. Artificial sweeteners wreak more havoc on your health than sugar.
They can mess with your metabolism, impact gut health, and even lead to weight gain. On the other hand, good ol’ sugar, when consumed in moderation, is a better option. Remember that moderation is key. Opting for no added sugar is truly the superhero of sweet choices. But Boomers, if you really must, don’t deny yourselves the real deal.
Watergate Salad
If you thought the Watergate scandal was bad, you probably haven’t heard of the Watergate salad. Cheekily known as Shut the Gate Salad, you really should just shut the gate on somebody if they try bringing this into your home because that is just plain disrespect.
What’s in it? Instant pistachio pudding, canned pineapple, and marshmallows. Oh, and topped with walnuts, if you please! We’re confused and a little repulsed, to be honest. It’s as if baby boomers were on a mission to butcher the concept of a salad. That’s rich, coming from a generation that otherwise insists we eat our vegetables!
Turkey Stuffing
The only acceptable form of stuffing is a toy bear that you're giving to a three-year-old. Definitely, not something you should be putting into your mouth. Stuffed turkey is a crime for several reasons, one of which is the fact that it dries out the turkey. Another reason is that it touches the salmonella and then you're pretty much eating raw turkey juice.
If you simply can't imagine a Thanksgiving meal without the beloved stuffing, consider a compromise. Make the stuffing as a delectable side dish rather than stuffing it inside the turkey. Instead of getting hung up on tradition, let’s prioritize taste and safety this Thanksgiving and always.
Meat Pate
And the Winner of the Most Unappetizing Food Presentation Award goes to... Meat Pate! Slow claps for this culinary nightmare. We’re equal parts perplexed and repelled, as is the case with most foods from the baby boomer generation. Whether served hot or cold, in pie form or as a loaf – it’s a resounding NO.
What's that on the plate? Why, it's a mysterious gray mass we can’t seem to identify. Is it meat? Is it rubber? Is it food that’s been lying around for a hundred years, maybe? And you’re saying we’re supposed to eat that? You must be joking.
Weenie Sauce
Everyone has their favorite food combinations. Grape jelly with peanut butter? Absolutely delicious. Barbecue sauce on meat? Mouthwatering. But grape jelly and barbecue sauce combined? Now that's just strange. Baby Boomers seem to love it, though.
How much free time did a person have to come up with the idea of mixing these two condiments? Baby boomers were living in a time of prosperity, too. One would think they had left the horrors of war behind, with plenty of food options to satisfy their taste buds. But no, let’s continue subjecting ourselves to bizarre culinary experiments, even if our lives no longer depend on it. Old habits die hard.